Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Heads or tails optical betrayal
Problem is, I don't know if it's that reflection I look at every time I work out or the fact the only 'real' mirror we have in the house is from the bust up in the bathroom but I have a serious body distortion problem right now. It's like I see the changes that are undeniably happening like that vertical line in my shins where the fat is thinning out. We'll call this the "heads" side since I'm referring to the front. Then I get this idea like maybe they're looking normal and I do something stupid like wear capris in public for the first time at home (I wear them on vacay or to work out) and I'll then catch a side/rear ("tails") view of my legs, recoil in horror and want to run to the nearest store to buy jeans to cover up. Or I'll discover those "shoulder caps" or biceps starting to peek out and I start to see my body as shapely but then I'll punch and the arm fat/flab will smack or keep waving 5 minutes after I've stopped and I realize that the tails side of me has not caught up to the heads side. I shudder to think what I look like from behind.
The thing is, if I'm seeing myself as thinner than I am and then being knocked down a peg emotionally when these optical illusions of my eyes playing tricks on me is happening now. What will I be in for when I finally AM at goal weight? Will I see myself as fat even though I'm fit? I don't like the optical betrayal that is going on here and I'm just afraid this will be my life...never being able to see the hard work through my own eyes.
Can anyone relate? What body distortion issues have you encountered?
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Labels: Deep Thoughts